Are you "high maintenance"? Or maybe you're "no maintenance". As women, we have lots of different needs, both physical and emotional, and they very from woman to woman. Recently, I am resurfacing from a rough patch. There are a few left over smudges of summer nail color on my toes, my hair is always pulled back and usually air dried, and my face hasn't seen decent moisturizer or make up in quite a while. Some would call this "letting yourself go", I would say it's about survival (protecting my emotional well being) and making sacrifices for my family (the money it takes to be lovely was going to more important places). Have you been there? And what happened when that season was over and you looked in the mirror?
So, what I have been wondering, pondering, and analyzing is this: Where do you draw the line between healthy self maintenance and vanity?
I know there have been times in my life I have been VAIN. So much money time, and energy spent on hair, nails, skin, clothes and all kinds of stuff. So far motherhood has proved to dampen those tendencies, but there have still been so days when I may have crossed the line.
Neither of those extremes have been healthy or productive places for the real type of self growth (inner beauty, not 5 inch lifts). This time, with this, uh... clean slate I have to work with, I want to reach a happy and intentional amount of effort put into the outer-me issues.
Why is it important at all? First, my husband. I don't want him to come home to Kreature, the house elf.
Also, because I have started to notice how often I don't follow through with things, or engage socially because deep down I feel defective.So, once again, I ask the question, how do I know what's appropriate? I can't be one of those people that relies on my hair, fitness, or shopping to fulfill my deeper needs, because I know that in the end none of those things (although good in small doses) can bring satisfaction, and they can end up doing more harm than good financially and relationally.
I wouldn't say I'm high maintenance. The last time I had a hair cut was over a year ago. I finally got one after baby number 6. I wear makeup to church and no where else. My poor husband comes home to clothes that I have had and only have had for since we got married. I think I'm at the point where I have let myself go. He finally bought me a pair of shoes last week because the ones I have were from a year ago and were $11. By the way, the only ones I have that fit, my feet have grown with babies. I love to buy everyone else clothes and things they don't really need. But I do believe I have become a slob. I am going to save a little each payday and go buy some new things only because the clothes I do have no longer fit right after having so many babies in 5 years.
ReplyDeleteI am not high maintenance, but I am not low either.
ReplyDeleteIt is a fine line between taking care of yourself and feeling good about yourself and being vain. It is very hard to know where the line may lay. I know that I try to be presentable to my husband, but sometimes his definition and mine are not the same.
I don't think any of us have the right answer. It is something we have to get right with God.
BTW, the correct spelling for the house elf is Kreatcher. ;)