Spiritual ADHD

How many times have you committed to change, started something new, felt really strongly about a perspective or ideology? Are you still involved in that commitment? Did you complete what you set out to do? I have taken piano lessons, started classes, taken yoga, made reading lists, taken parenting classes, and made New Years resolutions. Occasionally I stick around to see the fruits of my labor, but usually I either loose interest or the season in life changes and I run along to the next activity.
Why? I have met people who are committed to activities and lifestyles for YEARS. Somehow it sticks. In some of those people, it seems, their lifestyle has brought them as close to contentment as they have ever come, and figure they will eventually "arrive" at fulfillment. With others I think they just don't want to be quitters. If everyone knows Linda as "Linda Health-nut", then what would happen to Linda's identity if she decided to start eating steak and admit that yogurt gives her diarrhea? Would she be just "Linda"? Would all her friends from yoga and her online "Dogs are People Too" message board abandon her?
Who are you? What makes up your identity? How often are you able to follow through with your commitments? Do you choose a lifestyle because society tells you it will make you a "healthy" person?

I LOVE to read. I read A LOT. But I have to admit, for every book I have read there are ten books I started and forgot about after the fourth chapter. Even sadder is the fact that this is also true for how often I commit to studying the bible every day and end up watching Sponge Bob and talking on the phone instead.
This is something about myself that I recognize and KNOW to be true. If other people are involved in a commitment like loosing weight or finishing a bible study series, I will have better chances at completion.
My husband and I are working on some training for our church. There is a particular sermon series and book that we are required to finish, both but on our own. This series is NO JOKE, it's intense and quite long. Committing to this task really made me look back at all the things I have/have not completed. I was excited because I knew entering that there was going to be enjoyment and learning, but I was nervous I wouldn't be able to handle it.

Do you know any of those people who have read THE WHOLE BIBLE, like front to back... more than once? Have you ever tried that? My problem has never been whether or not the Bible is interesting enough, it's about where I spend my time and energy. That's been the problem all along. I value drinking coffee in the morning. I value having a clean kitchen. I had to decided that this task was going to be important and valuable to me.

The other missing link: I am super flawed. I can't hardly finish anything on my own.
So you're probably guessing right now that I'm going to say that I needed Jesus' help. Yes. Yes I did. Not just His help. I had to realize that all the wasted energy I spend in places with no lasting value when I had more important things to do was actually SIN. No kidding, it was wrong. Sometimes we do things in life that may not be exactly part of God's bigger plan for our lives, and it may not be a wrong thing to do, but it's wrong to even think for a minute that we are going to get the right kind of fulfillment anywhere other than from our relationship and purpose through Jesus. That's why the moving from one "purpose" or "identity" to another.

I know for some this concept is extreme. Like, "dang, Mandi sure has become a bible thumper".
But really, do yourself this one big favor. Take a real look back at your life. Sit and think about how many times you can remember being really content. How long did it last?  If you were to write a paragraph on "Why I was Born", what the heck would you say?
"I was born to be a mother..." 'I was born to work for this company..." "I was born to eat as much of this ice cream as possible..."
If you aren't sure what to put in this blank it may be time to change some things. None of the things you are trying to buy, accomplish, or conquer are going to give purpose to all the other days in your life.

" if you think someone other than Jesus gets you close to God, when that person or thing goes away... you're in crisis... when you need Christ the most" -Mark Driscoll, The Doctrine (which I am ALMOST finished with and you will know when I am)

Mondays are always a good day to step back and take a good look at your life. The first day of the week often brings out both the best and worst in us. When you woke up this morning, what was your hearts goal for the week? Getting the house cleaned, meal planning, shopping, getting your roots done, getting away from the kids for a few hours?

Do you spend time planning how you want your life to go? What is the thing you put the most thought, and maybe even effort into? Do you have a job that consumes and defines who you are as a person? What would happen to you if it was all taken away?

If you have a few minutes today, get a peice of paper, or your journal if you keep one, and jot down things you are investing yourself in today. How do those things make you feel? Are these things that are permanent, or temporary? What is the result for the people around you?

If you own a bible (and know where it is) open it up to the very beginning. Here are the first few sentances:

 "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. "

I love to think about these words when my week starts amping up. Can you imagine the darkness? This is one of my favorite parts of the bible. I love to imagine hovering with God over vast dark oceans of the earth, where there is no life. Thats tranquility! It also reminds me of how big God is (and he can fly! coolest super power ever!) All this is after he laid the groundwork of the planets and the world, but before the part most kids learn about in Sunday school (the part where he made animals and plants and stuff). 

My goal this week is to start off like that. Sure, there's gonna be a lot of work to do, and problems will arise, but I'm going to start of in that tranquility with God. 

Have a great week. XOXO!