Are you "high maintenance"? Or maybe you're "no maintenance". As women, we have lots of different needs, both physical and emotional, and they very from woman to woman.

Recently, I am resurfacing from a rough patch. There are a few left over smudges of summer nail color on my toes, my hair is always pulled back and usually air dried, and my face hasn't seen decent moisturizer or make up in quite a while. Some would call this "letting yourself go", I would say it's about survival (protecting my emotional well being) and making sacrifices for my family (the money it takes to be lovely was going to more important places). Have you been there? And what happened when that season was over and you looked in the mirror?

So, what I have been wondering, pondering, and analyzing is this: Where do you draw the line between healthy self maintenance and vanity?

I know there have been times in my life I have been VAIN.  So much money time, and energy spent on hair, nails, skin, clothes and all kinds of stuff. So far motherhood has proved to dampen those tendencies, but there have still been so days when I may have crossed the line.

Neither of those extremes have been healthy or productive places for the real type of self growth (inner beauty, not 5 inch lifts). This time, with this,  uh... clean slate I have to work  with, I want to reach a happy and intentional amount of effort put into the outer-me issues.

Why is it important at all?
First, my husband. I don't want him to come home to Kreature, the house elf.

Also, because I have started to notice how often I don't follow through with things, or engage socially because deep down I feel defective.

So, once again, I ask the question, how do I know what's appropriate? I can't be one of those people that relies on my hair, fitness, or shopping to fulfill my deeper needs, because I know that in the end none of those things (although good in small doses) can bring satisfaction, and they can end up doing more harm than good financially and relationally.

I'm going to pray about this for a day or two. Please send me your emails and comments on the subject. I will post some ideas, tips, thoughts, and Bible responses, please feel free to share yours.

Infant/Pregnancy Loss Awareness Memorial

graphics for moms

Hearty Breakfast

Orange Cranberry Scones
Perfect for fall and smell So good.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/cranberry-orange-scones-recipe/index.html

 
 
Jesus Talks With a Samaritan Woman

John 4:1-26
1The Pharisees heard that Jesus was gaining and baptizing more disciples than John, 2although in fact it was not Jesus who baptized, but his disciples. 3When the Lord learned of this, he left Judea and went back once more to Galilee.

4Now he had to go through Samaria. 5So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. 6Jacob's well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about the sixth hour.

7When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, "Will you give me a drink?" 8(His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)

9The Samaritan woman said to him, "You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?" (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.[a])

10Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water."

11"Sir," the woman said, "you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? 12Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his flocks and herds?"

13Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

15The woman said to him, "Sir, give me this water so that I won't get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water."

16He told her, "Go, call your husband and come back."

17"I have no husband," she replied.

Jesus said to her, "You are right when you say you have no husband. 18The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true."

19"Sir," the woman said, "I can see that you are a prophet. 20Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem."

21Jesus declared, "Believe me, woman, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. 22You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. 24God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."

25The woman said, "I know that Messiah" (called Christ) "is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us."

26Then Jesus declared, "I who speak to you am he."

Sorry about the long absense from blogger. It was much needed to say the least. I have been taking some time out to pray, and also to deal with some health issues. For a complete update on what's going on with our family, please visit my family blog at http://mandylou05.blogspot.com/

Here are some little things to get your week going


Today Now!: How To Thrust Your Fat Into A More Appealing Shape

Are you a Mary or a Martha?
http://blog.marshillchurch.org/2010/09/20/are-you-a-mary-or-martha-or-a-margaret/


Here is one of my new favorite websites:
http://www.papercraftsmag.com/index.html

Hey friends,

You may (or may not) have noticed I haven't been blogging for a few weeks. I have taken a little sabbatical from all things internet (although I confess I have been on facebook a few times) in order to pray about some things going on in our family and spend time getting Aiden into the groove at his new school. Things are going well, and I do have plans to get  back on top of things soon.

Thanks, I love you gals!

Sorry I haven't been around for a few days. A) we had some computer problems, and so glad hubby was able to resolve them quickly. B) I usually get wrapped up in family stuff over the weekend.

I have a few cool things in the works for this week, stand by.

Sorry,
I'm having really big problems with Blogger today. I have reposted this several times and not all the content is being published, so if you have trouble seeing the post or only part of it is there please let me know. -Thanks

Challenge Day 4:

1. Laugh. Tonight, plan on having a fun time together. Watch your favorite episodes of the Office, or read a funny book or magazine together. Laughing together is so important!

2. Clean your room! Make it an enjoyable place to hang out. Even if you don't have time to get the whole house done today, make your bedroom the priority instead of the place where you throw laundry. You can even put a mint on your pillow and pretend it's a hotel.

3. Play a game together. You like to play poker? Raise the stakes and bet your socks off ;) Does he like to play video games? Do you usually nag him when he does? How about you grab a remote and play too.

Here are some fun videos to watch and share:

Challenge Day 3 (Wednesday):

1. Paint your toenails. Pick a bright color like pink or red. Or if he's a really big SeaHawks green blue and silver would be cute. Just do a little something for a perk.

2. Make a pie. Whatever his favorite dessert is, surprise him with it after dinner. The fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

3. Play a game. Do your best to convince him to play a game with you. Poker? Uno? (you can turn almost any game into "strip-_")

Tuesday's Challenge

1. Spend some quiet time reading the bible today. Most people have "a song", find a verse that you feel represents your marriage or your husband. Make sure you write it down somewhere you will see it everyday (ie the fridge, the laundry room...) It would also be really nice if you write it out and give it to him.

2. Watch your favorite romance movie, or if you're a reader, revisit your favorite love story. If you just love the part where Elisabeth Bennet accidentally encounters Mr Darcy at Pemberly... read it. Spend a little time getting in touch with your feminine sensibilities.

3. If you can, have a late dinner after the kids are in bed (not usually a healthy choice) and actually set the table and sit down together. It's never to early in the week for a "date-night" at home. This may mean putting the kids to bed a little early, don't feel bad. Make it happen.

Cheese Fondue courtesey of Nigella Lawson, http://www.foodnetwork.com/

Ingredients


1 pound 4 ounces (600 grams) chopped or grated cheese, use a mixture such as Gruyere, Emmental, Brie and Camembert

1 1/4 cups (300 ml) white wine

2 teaspoons cornstarch

3 tablespoons Kirsch
1 garlic clove, peeled
Good grinding pepper
Good grating nutmeg

To serve with:

Carrot batons
Trimmed radishes
Radicchio, cut into spears or skinny wedges
Chicory cut into spears or skinny wedges

Cubes toasted sourdough

anything else you wish to dip

Directions

Put the chopped or grated cheese into the fondue pot with the wine and heat until boiling on the stove, by which time the cheese should have melted.

Turn the pot down to a simmer. Whisk together the cornstarch with the Kirsch in a small bowl, and add to the fondue pot along with the garlic clove.

Season with the pepper and nutmeg and move the fondue pot onto a flame at the table. Serve with various vegetables to dip.

"Better Marriage in one week" CHALLANGE!

I love and appreciate my husband. We have a great relationship (although there were times early in our marriage that I wouldn't have said that), and part of how we got to where we are is continually trying to improve our relationship every day.

This week I am going to challenge myself in several different aspects each day. I am going to post my challenge plans here, and I hope you (if you are married) will be inspired to follow along or create a list of challenges on your own.

First, I want to warn you that lots of these topics are "personal", and I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. BUT these are issues that are really important, so I'm going to share the challenges but not personal or private things about my life (so please don't email me details about your hot date).

The main part of the challenge is going to be super tough for most of you...

you will have to, ya know... have "s-e-x", EVERY NIGHT.

ya, even on week nights.
 even if it means you have to initiate it.
even if you are tired.
 even if the kids drove you crazy.
even  if you aren't at your goal weight.
even if he wasn't helpful today.

Next there are going to be three challenges here each day that are to help you get amped up to meet that big challenge, and to discover more about your love life. If there is a challenge that is particularly hard for you, then you need to investigate why and what you can do to become stronger. If you have any questions, concerns, or would like some advice don't hesitate to email me at likemaryandmartha@yahoo.com

Monday:

 

Challenge 1:  Get dressed with hair and makeup BEFORE he gets home.

 
Challenge 2:  Write him a love note telling him "thank you" for things like being a good father and working hard everyday.
 
Challenge 3: Watch what he wants on tv (or let him read what he wants to read etc) with out complaining (this one is going to be super hard for me!!)

These things should be fairly easy for you to do, with out stepping too far outside your comfort zone. If they aren't... you might have a hard time making it to Friday!

Spiritual ADHD

How many times have you committed to change, started something new, felt really strongly about a perspective or ideology? Are you still involved in that commitment? Did you complete what you set out to do? I have taken piano lessons, started classes, taken yoga, made reading lists, taken parenting classes, and made New Years resolutions. Occasionally I stick around to see the fruits of my labor, but usually I either loose interest or the season in life changes and I run along to the next activity.
Why? I have met people who are committed to activities and lifestyles for YEARS. Somehow it sticks. In some of those people, it seems, their lifestyle has brought them as close to contentment as they have ever come, and figure they will eventually "arrive" at fulfillment. With others I think they just don't want to be quitters. If everyone knows Linda as "Linda Health-nut", then what would happen to Linda's identity if she decided to start eating steak and admit that yogurt gives her diarrhea? Would she be just "Linda"? Would all her friends from yoga and her online "Dogs are People Too" message board abandon her?
Who are you? What makes up your identity? How often are you able to follow through with your commitments? Do you choose a lifestyle because society tells you it will make you a "healthy" person?

I LOVE to read. I read A LOT. But I have to admit, for every book I have read there are ten books I started and forgot about after the fourth chapter. Even sadder is the fact that this is also true for how often I commit to studying the bible every day and end up watching Sponge Bob and talking on the phone instead.
This is something about myself that I recognize and KNOW to be true. If other people are involved in a commitment like loosing weight or finishing a bible study series, I will have better chances at completion.
My husband and I are working on some training for our church. There is a particular sermon series and book that we are required to finish, both but on our own. This series is NO JOKE, it's intense and quite long. Committing to this task really made me look back at all the things I have/have not completed. I was excited because I knew entering that there was going to be enjoyment and learning, but I was nervous I wouldn't be able to handle it.

Do you know any of those people who have read THE WHOLE BIBLE, like front to back... more than once? Have you ever tried that? My problem has never been whether or not the Bible is interesting enough, it's about where I spend my time and energy. That's been the problem all along. I value drinking coffee in the morning. I value having a clean kitchen. I had to decided that this task was going to be important and valuable to me.

The other missing link: I am super flawed. I can't hardly finish anything on my own.
So you're probably guessing right now that I'm going to say that I needed Jesus' help. Yes. Yes I did. Not just His help. I had to realize that all the wasted energy I spend in places with no lasting value when I had more important things to do was actually SIN. No kidding, it was wrong. Sometimes we do things in life that may not be exactly part of God's bigger plan for our lives, and it may not be a wrong thing to do, but it's wrong to even think for a minute that we are going to get the right kind of fulfillment anywhere other than from our relationship and purpose through Jesus. That's why the moving from one "purpose" or "identity" to another.

I know for some this concept is extreme. Like, "dang, Mandi sure has become a bible thumper".
But really, do yourself this one big favor. Take a real look back at your life. Sit and think about how many times you can remember being really content. How long did it last?  If you were to write a paragraph on "Why I was Born", what the heck would you say?
"I was born to be a mother..." 'I was born to work for this company..." "I was born to eat as much of this ice cream as possible..."
If you aren't sure what to put in this blank it may be time to change some things. None of the things you are trying to buy, accomplish, or conquer are going to give purpose to all the other days in your life.

" if you think someone other than Jesus gets you close to God, when that person or thing goes away... you're in crisis... when you need Christ the most" -Mark Driscoll, The Doctrine (which I am ALMOST finished with and you will know when I am)

Mondays are always a good day to step back and take a good look at your life. The first day of the week often brings out both the best and worst in us. When you woke up this morning, what was your hearts goal for the week? Getting the house cleaned, meal planning, shopping, getting your roots done, getting away from the kids for a few hours?

Do you spend time planning how you want your life to go? What is the thing you put the most thought, and maybe even effort into? Do you have a job that consumes and defines who you are as a person? What would happen to you if it was all taken away?

If you have a few minutes today, get a peice of paper, or your journal if you keep one, and jot down things you are investing yourself in today. How do those things make you feel? Are these things that are permanent, or temporary? What is the result for the people around you?

If you own a bible (and know where it is) open it up to the very beginning. Here are the first few sentances:

 "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. "

I love to think about these words when my week starts amping up. Can you imagine the darkness? This is one of my favorite parts of the bible. I love to imagine hovering with God over vast dark oceans of the earth, where there is no life. Thats tranquility! It also reminds me of how big God is (and he can fly! coolest super power ever!) All this is after he laid the groundwork of the planets and the world, but before the part most kids learn about in Sunday school (the part where he made animals and plants and stuff). 

My goal this week is to start off like that. Sure, there's gonna be a lot of work to do, and problems will arise, but I'm going to start of in that tranquility with God. 

Have a great week. XOXO! 

 

 

Favorite Stuff Friday

I'm working on some really fun posts for next week, but on Fridays I'm usually out doing stuff with the fam. So here are some of my favorite stuff for you to check out while you are waiting for the weekend. TGIF!!

http://www.cartoonnetwork.com/video/index.html?episodeID=8a250ab029ea87ab012a3899a59d0544

"If you really wanna be a rebel, read your bible, cause that's the only rebellion left."

Variety Show

I promised myself, that in this new blog I will always be true and honest. Not because I think I will share every part of my life on the internet, but when I get that "awake in the middle of the night with something on my mind" feeling, I'm going to share that stuff as best as I can. Why? For two reasons. The first reason is somewhere between selfishness and humility, and it is because I think I have a really strange mind. Strange enough that you may all find it interesting or funny, and maybe even helpful or inspirational. The second reason is because I just can't be any other way. Honesty to the core. I can't hide that life is full of pain, I can't hide that I have given up a lot of things for a better relationship with God, I can't hide that I like tattoos and loud music. So I am going to share with everyone, as best I can, any truth I find in my everyday life as a woman, a wife, a rebel, a disciple, a student, a mom, a romantic, a realist, and a wife.
So expect to find some music here, some funny stuff, some free stuff, and hopefully you will cry once in a while (because I know how much women like a good cry).
Today I posted several things, just a random sampler and a "get to know ya".

                       

 The evils of time:

My breakfast a year ago:

My breakfast today:

The Waist

This is a picture from one of my favorite annimated shows, "Adventure Time". Her name is Trudy, the waist. I'm sure I will revisit body issues more than once here. Behold, Tudy... my waist.

Introducing the

God I worship... Hero Jesus?

Having a little trouble understanding why Jesus was such a "cool guy"? Follow the link to an article I found with a very different perspective on the man who was God. You will probably think differently about the weird soft colored Jesus portraits in your grandma's house.

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/deeper-walk/features/22386-the-jesus-paradox